Dear Diary,

It was 2:00 pm.  And, still my day off!  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had so much free time.  Anyway, the Mayor’s wife’s sister paid me in cash; so after counting it; I put the money in my wallet.  That’s when I noticed my Fitness Fantasy gym membership card. Interestingly enough, there was a Fitness Fantasy gym on Route 50.  I thought, “I’ll go to the gym!”  Then I looked at my membership card and realized it expired 2 years ago!  I didn’t require a bigger sign from the universe; so I drove on by…

Next, I saw the Bouncing Bubbles beauty salon.  I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had my hair done; so I pulled into the parking lot.  There was a sign in the window advertising a Makeover special.  I walked inside, and a receptionist greeted me.  I asked her about the special.  She paused before saying, “Can you come back tomorrow?”  I asked why.  Then she said, “Mr. D is at a hair convention…”  I told her all I wanted was a wash and blow dry.  I didn’t want a makeover.  She made a “hmmm” sound and said, “Well, Miss Tilly is here.”  Another pause.  Then she said, “It’ll be fine; I’ll tell her you don’t want the special.  You want the wash ‘n curl.”  I said, “No, I want the wash and blow dry.  I want my hair blow dried straight.”  She said, “Of course, we list it as a wash ‘n curl when you don’t get makeup.”

She escorted me to the back and handed me a smock.  Then she said, “I’ll wash your hair while Miss Tilly sets up.  Then I’ll walk you to her chair.”  To make a long story short, Miss Tilly was very  old.  I’m not an ageist.  I think  people should work forever.  Nevertheless,  I stopped the receptionist (before we reached Miss Tilly) and said, “I’ll pay for the wash and leave without the dry.”  The receptionist said, “But Miss Tilly sees you.  You’ll break her heart if you leave now.”

I gave in, and sat down.  Miss Tilly looked at me and said, “Let me give you some curls… boys like girls with curls.”  I looked at her and gave in again.  It was 6:30 pm by the time Miss Tilly was done!  She apologized for being a little slow.  Then Miss Tilly said, “You’ve been here so long; you need to eat.”  She opened a drawer; pulled out a ziplock bag, and offered me a few cookies.  She said, “I made these cookies this morning.  They’re like the Ritz-Carlton chocolate chip cookies except mine are better because I used plain m&m’s.”