Dear Diary,

I needed help with the chili and cornbread delivery.  And, I knew “Cleopatra” would volunteer once she found out it was for the Mayor’s wife.  Unfortunately, “Cleopatra” talked nonstop as I drove to the Mayor’s mansion.  She said, “7 babies.  That’s nuts!!!  I’m gonna get pictures of her baby bump(s) and sell them!”  At one point, I stopped listening because I wasn’t interested in the process of artificial insemination or how often fertility clinics goof or the impossibility of finding out who the fathers of the fetuses are!  It was all too weird.  I didn’t want to think about it, and I definitely didn’t want to go inside the Mayor’s mansion.  But I did…

After security tasted the chili, and confiscated “Cleopatra’s” cell phone, we were allowed inside the Mayor’s wife’s private boudoir suite.  It was beautiful!  It looked like something from a magazine only nicer because there was this extra glow to it.  Then I remembered the Mayor’s wife’s book, 11 Ways To A Restful Night’s Sleep Through The Mystery And Mastery of Feng Shui.  Anyway, the Mayor’s wife and my boss were seated at a table laughing.

As I approached with the chili and cornbread, I noticed the Mayor’s wife was signing legal documents.  My boss had the giggles and said, “I just figured out my next seminar: ‘The 7 reasons why a savvy woman shouldn’t sign legal disclaimers at fertility clinics.'”  There was a brief pause then she said, “Or maybe it should be: ‘The 7 questions every savvy woman should ask right before artificial insemination.'”  Another pause.  Then she said, “I’ve got it.  My next seminar will be: ‘The 7 reasons why a case is dismissed on technicalities (by the FBI) every savvy woman should know.'”  The Mayor’s wife said, “I’ll drink to that!”  Then she “chug-a-lugged” from a champagne flute.  My boss looked at me and said, “Don’t worry, it’s lemonade!”

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